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Getting through cancer with help from my friends

Last month I was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor. Since then, after the initial shock and adjustment to a new health condition, I've been the fortunate recipient of excellent medical care, tremendous support from friends and family, and so far at least, pretty mild reactions to chemotherapy and radiation treatments. I've been strong and well enough to go on a 10 mile day hike this past Sunday, up to Vesper Peak in the North Cascades with great friends. I've been resting a bit more than usual, and I'm still getting a goodly bit of work done. All in all I feel pretty good. My support network has more than 40 strong members helping provide me with delicious food, moral support, kindness, honesty, wisdom, humor, and much more. So, I'm getting the support I need, and I'll be sure to ask for what I need as I make my way through this unexpected adventure. If you would like to join my support community, let me know how you'd like to help.

Building and deploying my support community has been a great case study in using a social network and technology to solve real problems. After some great advice and counseling from Cancer Lifeline, my wife Adrienne and I, with help from several key friends, held a support meeting, based on the share the care model, to invite people to help out on project PhilCare. Beginning cancer treatment is a high dive into unknowability, where you can't and don't know how much support you will need. Friends and family worry and want to help, and as the cancer patient, you're beset with enormous new decisions to make and an overwhelming number of new tasks and priorities, as well as with the potential of being pretty darn sick. To manage this, I set up a wiki to manage all the new information I was getting from many sources, to provide updates to the group, to list and request help with tasks, to divide support tasks so they distribute the load across my network, and to facilitate input from my community, all of which has allowed me to focus intensively on my well-being. The wiki has been incredibly helpful (big thanks to www.socialtext.com ). My clients have also been very understanding in this time, for which I'm also very thankful. I'll provide more details along the way, especially as I'd like to highlight how web 2.0 and tools like wikis can transform seemingly overwhelming challenges into perfectly viable projects. Through the wiki, the support, concern and worry of friends, family, and colleagues is channelled and converted into small actions that make a difference.

posted on Friday, October 21, 2005 2:15 AM

Feedback

# re: Getting through cancer with help from my friends 10/25/2005 4:06 AM Ruby Sinreich

Phil, I'm so sorry to hear this news. But it's good to hear that you are getting great support in person and utilizing online tools to help yourself and others. Using a wiki is a brilliant idea - I expect no less from you.

Good luck with Project PhilCare. I'll be sending good vibes from the east coast...

# re: Getting through cancer with help from my friends 10/25/2005 2:23 PM Marnie Webb

Jesus, Phil, you're amazing. Not just talking about but being so open about the systems and support necessary. I'm thinking of you and if any PhilCare can be done from CA send a shout out.

# re: Getting through cancer with help from my friends 10/26/2005 8:41 AM phil

thanks Marnie. This is a time when some self-expression comes naturally. I remember a few conversations with you in SF where you mentioned how writing fit into your life. I'm rediscovering, recovering, some of my own passion for writing and expression. And really, it is hard to understate the importance and value of support from friends and family.

# re: Getting through cancer with help from my friends 10/27/2005 8:31 AM Fred Klein

Phil...I just stumbled into your blog thru a googlesearch...it's reassuring to know you're using all the tools available to put positive information out there. Your many gifts come thru loud and clear...all my love and support, Dad

# re: Getting through cancer with help from my friends 10/27/2005 8:42 AM phil

you know what they say, every port in a storm ;) . thanks for the support.

# re: Getting through cancer with help from my friends 11/17/2005 2:58 AM Rachel Gussett-Williams

Oh my gosh Phil. You are simply amazing and I am sending you all kinds of positive thoughts from the other coast!

# re: Getting through cancer with help from my friends 11/17/2005 7:04 AM Samantha Moscheck

Phil,
I just learned about this and went searching for your blog. Mike and I are wishing you all the best. I'm so glad that you have built a support community to help you through this. If there is ever anything I can do please don't hesitate to have somebody get in touch with me. Mike might have some useful tips as a cancer survivor, if you ever want to touch base with him he'd be happy to hear from you.
:)sam

# re: Getting through cancer with help from my friends 11/24/2005 6:00 PM Wong Online PoKér Hu

My mother also went through chemotherapy when she was diagnosed with breast cancer a few years ago. We all survived this trial together because we all stuck together. I hope that you will also be supported by your family and friends since their support is going to be great help.

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